McDumb@$$

Let me start off by saying that I freaking love McDonald's. They have some of the best fast "food" (if you can really call it that) around. It's cheap, it tastes good, and it's simple. However, if you take a minute to study the menu, you will notice it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. I'll start by just showing you what I'm talking about:

McDouble- $0.99

Double Cheeseburger- $1.29

Cheeseburger- $1.09

Hamburger- $1.00

At first glance that may seem like a normal and decent menu. They're all different sandwiches so, obviously, they should have different prices, but let's dig a little deeper. I'll start with the hamburger. A hamburger for $1.00 is a pretty good deal and $0.09 for a slice of cheese isn't a terrible deal. I mean, it's a bit much for just a slice of cheese, but I'm already being picky enough as it is so I'll let it slide. A double cheeseburger is a good deal, too. Only $0.20 more for an extra burger patty is a steal. But wait! It has an extra patty and an extra piece of cheese! What a deal! So walk on up to the counter and order a double cheeseburger and you might be faced with the following question: "a double cheeseburger or a McDouble?" "............ a what?" Yeah, you heard me right: a Mc-freakin'-Double. That's a double cheeseburger..... with only one piece of cheese. Oh yeah, and did I mention it's the cheapest out of all the burgers? So, if the "McDouble" is the cheapest, why even bother putting the single on the menu??? Who in their right mind is going to pay extra money for a smaller sandwich? I know, I know, "but Zach, what about people who are trying to eat healthier?" You know what? Screw those people. Eating healthier, my ass. They're at a freaking McDonald's. How are they trying to be healthy? If you're at a McDonald's and you're on a diet, you need to go to a doctor because you might be retarded. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, There is no reason for the single to be cheaper than the double, and I have a solution. Here is my version of what the menu should be:

Hamburger: $0.99

Cheeseburger: $1.00

Double Cheeseburger: $1.09

There... that makes a bunch more sense. Just forget about the McDouble and have a normal freaking menu where things are priced based on how much food you're getting. 

Rat-tails

Yeah. These things. I'm sure everyone remembers these from elementary school in the 90's. They were usually on the class white trash bully or fat kid. I don't remember ever hearing anyone say "look at that kid's rat tail, that is so cool" unless they were about to get a face full of fist and, even then, the phrase was uttered with shame and disappointment. Luckily, this fad quickly passed. But wait, walking through the halls of Northwest High School revealed that this fad is coming back. Why? This was NEVER cool. Rat-tails will NEVER be hip or cool. I thought to myself "this can't be coming back, maybe it's just a few lame-ass kids at Northwest." This was entirely possible. We have a bunch of losers who participate in cosplay days and kids who carry guitars around, so I thought maybe this was just an isolated thing. I was wrong. I was stunned when I was walking through Wal-mart the other day and saw what appeared to be a dead animal on the back of some white trash dude's neck. The rat-tail is making a comeback and it must be stopped.

Life and Other Things That Suck

This will be a weekly post where I go off on a rant about things that suck or just piss me off. For example, airplane food. I mean, come on, what's up with that stuff? Am I right? But seriously, they will be in depth, lengthy, and humorous explanations on things that just make me angry.

Ska? Dead? Yeah, right.

One of my best friends just started touring with this band, Rude King. They play a 2-tone ska sort of thing and it's really great. Give 'em a listen, you won't be sorry.

First Post. This is Monumental

Well, this is my first post. I hope you weren't expecting anything great or terribly profound because all you're getting is this dog.... with wheels.