McDumb@$$

Let me start off by saying that I freaking love McDonald's. They have some of the best fast "food" (if you can really call it that) around. It's cheap, it tastes good, and it's simple. However, if you take a minute to study the menu, you will notice it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. I'll start by just showing you what I'm talking about:

McDouble- $0.99

Double Cheeseburger- $1.29

Cheeseburger- $1.09

Hamburger- $1.00

At first glance that may seem like a normal and decent menu. They're all different sandwiches so, obviously, they should have different prices, but let's dig a little deeper. I'll start with the hamburger. A hamburger for $1.00 is a pretty good deal and $0.09 for a slice of cheese isn't a terrible deal. I mean, it's a bit much for just a slice of cheese, but I'm already being picky enough as it is so I'll let it slide. A double cheeseburger is a good deal, too. Only $0.20 more for an extra burger patty is a steal. But wait! It has an extra patty and an extra piece of cheese! What a deal! So walk on up to the counter and order a double cheeseburger and you might be faced with the following question: "a double cheeseburger or a McDouble?" "............ a what?" Yeah, you heard me right: a Mc-freakin'-Double. That's a double cheeseburger..... with only one piece of cheese. Oh yeah, and did I mention it's the cheapest out of all the burgers? So, if the "McDouble" is the cheapest, why even bother putting the single on the menu??? Who in their right mind is going to pay extra money for a smaller sandwich? I know, I know, "but Zach, what about people who are trying to eat healthier?" You know what? Screw those people. Eating healthier, my ass. They're at a freaking McDonald's. How are they trying to be healthy? If you're at a McDonald's and you're on a diet, you need to go to a doctor because you might be retarded. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, There is no reason for the single to be cheaper than the double, and I have a solution. Here is my version of what the menu should be:

Hamburger: $0.99

Cheeseburger: $1.00

Double Cheeseburger: $1.09

There... that makes a bunch more sense. Just forget about the McDouble and have a normal freaking menu where things are priced based on how much food you're getting.